15 June 2009

finales without finality.

1 year, 8 months, and 14 days ago, Pushing Daisies premiered on ABC, introducing a show with bright colors and a quick-talking cast much in the tradition of Brian Fuller's previous gifts to television. Narrated by the guy who narrated those Walgreen commercials, there was a storybook feel to it, the cast speaking in overly-constructed, almost archaic structure spiced with modernity, like an adult fable minus the "adult" connotation. Positivity in a sea of bleak, saturated police procedurals. Unique. Original. Cancelled mid-2nd season.

Lots of shows get cancelled, especially in today's landscape (as Bill Lawrence said at the "Produced By" conference: "A hit is a show that you manage to keep on the air.") Lots of Brian Fuller's shows get cancelled (Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me). It's a scary landscape for television these days to hang on to a show that isn't performing as well as American Idol or The Mentalist. But the fans suffer.

Television isn't like a book or a movie, mostly because of the spelling. But also because television properties are generally episodic. Books and movies are self-contained; one sits and takes in the whole story within a specified unit. Television, on the other hand, has to deal with constant scrutiny as its story develops. If the investors think the story is underperforming (from a business standpoint at least), the story gets broken off in the middle. The justification is that no one is watching it so why not fill the space with something that people like?

And that's the industry. We've grown up with that mentality in television, even grown accustomed to its escalating brutality. When a sit-com gets dropped, some people are sad but accept the nature of the beast. It's just business.

Some shows, however, keep people involved not just with clever situations every week but a continuing storyline and developing characters. That's the power of episodic television, to create these sprawling worlds full of any number of endearing (or malevolent) characters for an audience to fall in love with in a way films are incapable of doing. How can a film compete with 22(ish) hours a season? Audiences become invested over years of living with a character. Great for business. But then, when statistics start to show audiences are dropping off and there's some negative feedback on the Greatest Though Slightly Inaccurate Feedback Engine Ever Conceived, the interwebs, studios feel forced to make a decision. And the fans who stick around despite the falling numbers suffer.

Using this same Feedback Engine, the fans have started to coalesce, starting movements to save programming that may be on the bubble. Chuck is a recent example that used Twitter (and the #savechuck hashtag), websites (renewchuck.com), and even lots and lots of boxes of Nerds candy sent to NBC. NBC ended up bringing Chuck back (on a limited budget and only buying a 13-episode slate for a show going into its third season). Other shows, like Pushing Daisies, aren't so lucky.

So the fans are deprived of the ending. Sure, there is an end in that existential, everything-has-an-end kind of way. But you look back on shows like M*A*S*H that had such an emotional ending and even Mad About You (seriously) with such a creative end to give the fans (or the fans they had left) some peace. Newhart did a great job, ending its show with a wink to Bob Newhart's longtime fans of his previous show. There are other shows that fritter that power away (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air comes to mind with its Will-turns-the-lights-out ending, or even The Cosby Show with its over-emotional Boyz II Men "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to the Cosby Show" ending), sometimes even on purpose (I'm looking at you, Seinfeld). But there are some shows that aren't even given the opportunity to fritter.

Carnivàle. The title alone should strike a "Yes!" chord in so many on this subject. Such lofty goals, such a driving force, a show finally getting its act together, HBO had trouble sustaining a show that traveled across the dust, setting up full, working carnivals all the time. But season 2 ends with what everyone has been waiting for only to see nothing come to fruition. There was talk for a while that the rest of the storyline would come out in comic book form (much like what Joss Whedon would do for Buffy, Season 8, later) but that never happened (that I know of ...).

But that brings up an interesting point. Should these cancelled shows with a fanbase be allowed to continue the storyline in an alternative format? Would it be feasible to bring that fanbase to the emerging internet television market? Put out a book, a graphic novel, a movie, a radio show, something to finish the story? ABC allowed Pushing Daisies to rework the last three episodes so that it could sum up every storyline in the last five minutes of its series finale, drastically different from the ornate storytelling to which viewers were accustomed. Would it have been better to release a book (a pop-up book?) to let the story finish naturally instead of this unceremonious sum-uppy coda? Media has become so diversified (stratified?) that there are more outlets than ever to push out a product. So, I suppose the real question is: is there any money in transferring a dying brand to a different medium to live out its last days?

04 June 2009

i don't know what to write here.

Seriously, I don't.

It's been a year since I've posted in this blog. That's not to say nothing has happened or I've not had anything to say. Sadly (or gloriously, depending on your perspective), a lot of the "random thought" initiatives that brought about so many blog posts have been the subjects of titleless nanoblogging, making a blog the new internet "long-form" (blogs : Twitter :: Virgil : E E Cummings). So, with there being a more appropriate outlet for off-the-cuff remarks, this blog becomes what a blog already has for so many: an opportunity to plan and write short essays.

But what about? Do I make it about one subject? Should that one subject be me? Film? Television? Writing? Should it include expanded versions of my tweets (Synergy!)? Should I wait until I have something to get off my chest, grumble about it for days, and then compose a lengthy invective/praise?

Platitudes? Should I come up with some platitudes to discuss, such as my thoughts on getting older, fading beauty, kids these days? Should I be more personal, discuss my graduating college 10 years after I started, finally starting the life I always wanted to live, my continued obsession with distraction? My constant disappointment in pop culture? The unique experience of living in downtown Atlanta, an urban environment by all appearances but without most of the conveniences?

Maybe something I usually never write about. I've never been inspired to write about politics, which leads people to believe I have none. Maybe this is an opportunity to write about the things people don't believe are part of my personality. Although that would leave me with just talking about politics and sex. So many people that don't believe I have sex. I do. Sex. It used to get me into trouble.

I tried posting my writing up here for a while but heard nothing back about that. Not even spam. I also realized that (a) what I was writing about was terribly uninteresting to anyone else (really niche audience), (b) what I was writing about I had only the vaguest idea of what I was discussing, but, most importantly, (c) nobody cares, Nick.

I don't have a plan. I do like the title "The Essential Nick Campbell" and it still comes up in the top 10 Google results when one searches for Nick Campbell (listed under the more prolific Nick Campbells). So maybe that should be my theme. I should post things that are essential to the understanding of Nick Campbell and/or Nick Campbell's oeuvre. Not every piece that comes from his (excuse me, my) desk but the stuff I feel is important. I'll leave my ephemeral complaints about MARTA and my charmed comments about Gilmore Girls for Twitter. Here will be the organized, beefier versions of my thoughts, sometimes even narrativized (word? I think so).

But what are the chances I'll actually decide on what to write here?

14 May 2008

a surprising first.

I know I'm a relatively intelligent person but I've never been evaluated to any impressive results at any point of my academic career. But, with the final grades from last semester in, I've finally done it. Nick Campbell got straight As for the first time in his life. You're totally surprised, aren't you? How has Nick Campbell gone through his entire life and NOT gotten straight As?

I imagine it has something to do with my wanting to play video games and jump on the trampoline instead of studying in high school. Those things may actually have had a lot of impact on my first year in college, too (minus the trampoline). To a lesser extent I could blame my fake autism (which isn't real autism -- just a collection of antisocial behavior and a lack of conventional communication skills that makes you think, "Is there something wrong here?").

I have a bar now. It has been set. I can get straight As. And I have. I present to you: Nick Campbell, Sometimes Overestimated but Slowly Climbing Toward the Goals Set by the Self-Imposed Pressure of His Perception of His Genius Super Student, Maker of All As.

03 April 2008

(pt 11)

[continued:]

[David, Squibs and Rob sit on the couches at David's apartment, staring at the blank television. David's apartment is what one would expect of a one-bedroom in which he lives alone: not a sanitary hazard but essentially minor squalor with mismatched furniture, barren cupboards but an impressive movie collection.]

Rob:
So you've been without TV for --
David:
Two weeks. Just me and the internet.
Squibs:
And you can't even watch movies?
David:
Nope. All that comes up on the screen is that thin line across the middle.
Rob:
[flips a large piece of black plastic with his foot] And what is this plastic shrapnel?
David:
That's to the back of the TV. See, when it used to do this I'd hit the back of it and the picture would come back up. One day I hit it and it caved in. So I started hitting the other side. And then it caved in and now the entire case is broken off.
Rob:
So now there's nothing to hit.
David:
Exactly. So I'm left with the thin line. Sound is great but no picture.
Rob:
Ah.

[There's another period of silence. David looks at his watch.]

Rob:
What time is it?
David
Six thirty.
Rob:
[to Squibs] And when does the movie start?
Squibs:
Eight fifty.
Rob:
Right. Right.
David:
So what's going on with that guy from the studio?
Squibs:
Well, "studio" is a strong term. Right now they're more kinda like an investment firm. At least that's what my friend told me. They seemed really interested in the script though. He said he was going to show it to his boss.
David:
Cool. Cool.
Rob:
Yeah, that'll be great.

[There's another period of silence. David repositions himself.]

Rob:
God, your house is boring without TV.
David:
You're telling me. You've only been here for fifteen minutes. I have to live here and stare at the three DVDs I bought just before it went out.
Rob:
You can watch them on your computer.
David:
It's not the same.
Rob:
Like watching it on that thing was any better. How old was that set?
David:
Six, seven years.
Rob:
It was like a dinosaur. Doesn't even have component inputs, does it?
David:
[to Squibs] So, what's going on with you and that girl Jessica?
Squibs:
What do you mean?
David:
She's pretty hot.
Squibs:
Yeah, I think she's cute.
Rob:
Are you going to ask her out?
Squibs:
I don't know, man. I think there are rules. We have the same advisor and we have to work together everyday.
David:
Buuuuut?
Squibs:
She's really hot.
David:
[as Rob laughs] Ha yeah!
Squibs:
And, you know, smart and talented.
David:
And just fantastic-looking boobs.

[Rob backhands David's arm as David tries to make the international symbol for breasts. David breaks his pose and laughs.]

Squibs:
She wants me to read part of her thesis and tell her what I think. Should I offer to let her read part of my thesis?
Rob:
Sure. If she says she's too busy you'll know that she's not that into you. But if she says that she will then I think you have a shot.
David:
It's like show and tell. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Starts off with your boring papers but then it turns into books you like, music you listen to. Maybe then you play a little show and tell with just a touch of nipple. Pull your shirt down and show the top of yours and then she shows you the top of hers.
Rob:
[staring at David but talking to Squibs] Have you finished any part of your thesis yet?
Squibs:
Nothing I want to show the world.
Rob:
So it's a moot point then.
Squibs:
Yeah. But I might finish a part just to give her something to read.
David:
Oh, you'll give her something to read.
Rob:
What? David -- get laid.
Squibs:
It's not like that, you know? She's just -- really cool. We have a good time.
Rob:
That's really cool, man.

[There's another bit of silence.]

Squibs:
It's kind of nice not having a TV here. We get to sit around and just hang out instead of rotting our brains with television.
Rob:
Right. Just quiet. Chill.

[More silence.]

David:
Who wants to go watch "The Twenty" four or fives times before the movie starts.
Rob:
Yeah, let's get out of here.

[continued]

30 March 2008

examples of promos if i were to host Saturday Night Live.

[Amy Poehler stands alone with musical guest Feist in the foreground. As she speaks Nick rises slowly from below the shot, doing the elevator gag while staring at his watch.]

Amy:
Hi, I'm Amy Poehler with this week's host, Nick Campbell, and musical guest Feist.
Nick:
[pokes head out of imaginary car, looks around] This isn't my floor. [goes back inside car; pokes Amy in the back to push floor button and to close elevator doors]

[Nick stands with Tina Fey and a couple members from the group Death Cab for Cutie.]

Nick:
Hi, I'm Nick Campbell, hosting SNL this week with musical guest Death Cab for Cutie.
Tina:
I hear you think I'm a cutie.
Nick:
[looking straight ahead at the camera] Bite me, Fey.

[EDIT]

[Nick stands with Jorma Taccone.]

Nick:
Hey, I'm Nick Campbell and I'll be hosting SNL this week with musical guest Foo Fighters -- and that's ka-blammy.
Jorma:
[deadpan] What happened to Ka-Blamo?
Nick:
I mean Ka-blamo.
Jorma:
Good, that's better.

29 March 2008

an open letter to olivia munn.

Olivia --

While watching a recent episode of your program, a few questions came to mind that hopefully you can answer for me.

  1. Come clean, Munn. I know it's not widely acceptable for females in Hollywood to say in the open whether or not they've had work done to their appearance but it's time you dealt us the truth. Do you have robot eyes? Don't deny it.
  2. Are you afraid someone is going to paste your face over someone else's body and try to pass it off as you -- like the next time you look up "Two Girls One Cup" you'll see a video of you doing work on a mug?
  3. Does the behind-the-scenes activity on your set play out more like Sports Night, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip or West Wing?
  4. Are you as bored as I am during the "In Your Pants" segments? I'm not sure what I expect for those pieces but with the build-up, everyone saying girls are going in my pants throughout your broadcast and then the the intro with a young woman moaning I always feel deflated when it's just about a guy being disinterested in his partners. It seems like a lot of hype. Take a page from Sue Johanson's book or read Regina Lynn's columns and explore Nerd Sex a little more. Teledildonics is fast-growing field.
  5. G4 employs a great many good-looking women as hosts and your show awkwardly tries to squeeze in as many segments as possible featuring half-naked models. Do you feel the reason for this is to balance out the scary folk showing up on Cops and Cheaters (aka the other 85% of programming on your network)?
  6. Who would win in a decathlon of host duties: Kevin Pereira or Joel McHale (there will be a physical challenge involved -- much like Double Dare)?

Thank you for your time, your patience and your understanding. I hope you'll take some of my suggestions to heart. I'm telling you: teledildonics. It's like sex without all that bothersome 'leaving the house' nonsense.

26 March 2008

(pt 10)

[continued:]

[Inside the restuarant Rob works at after close, the first shoot is being set up. Squibs oversees Ryan and Sam setting up the equipment and cheap lighting equipment while David goes over lines with Kyle and Beth, both of whom are dressed with matching uniforms and waist aprons. Rob talks to a large part of his fellow staff who are acting as extras.]

Rob:
First of all, thanks for sticking around after close for everyone that worked tonight. I know you guys are all tired and probably smell a little bit like onion rings but, since most of you work for $2.15 an hour, you guys are used to being cheap labor.

[Everyone laughs. Rob picks up a small bulletin board with pieces of scrap paper pinned to it.]

Rob:
This is what we have to accomplish. We're going to attempt to get through these tonight. They're all really easy scenes, mostly just dialog between Beth and Kyle, and we're going to get some B roll to fill in and then you're free to go. I'd also like to thank you guys still working in the kitchen to make some food for everyone. You guys are superstars. We'll start up in just a few minutes.

[He puts the board down and walks toward Squibs, who gives him a thumbs up, and David, who does the same. David and Rob sit down in chairs near the camera.

David:
Okay, let's rehearse it a couple times first, then we'll shoot it. Whenever you're ready, Beth, you start.
Beth:
Okay.

[She takes a breath and walks over toward Kyle. Sam practices the movements by panning with her. Kyle and Beth start their scene.]

David:
[whispering] We totally cast the right girl, didn't we?
Rob:
I think so.
David:
Any girl that can work a black cotten tee like that is the right girl for the part.
Rob:
[smiling] Pay attention, man
David:
Seriously, she's looking foxy.
Rob:
I know. I'm trying to listen.
David:
[after a brief pause] Do you think we should put in some different shoes. Like some strappy sandals or something?
Rob:
There's no way anyone working in a place like this would be serving tables in strappy sandals. You want to be comfortable if you're going to be on your feet all the time.
David:
What about those athletic sandals? And, ooh, capri pants! Or, like yoga pants or something.
Rob:
That's like the worst combination ever. She's not lounging around the house. What are you talking about?
David:
All right, all right. I just want it to be perfect.
Rob:
By putting her in give-ups? Why not just have her in sweats?
David:
Because that wouldn't be as hot --
Rob:
What? I don-- oh my God. It's a foot thing, isn't it? You want her to show off her ankles?
David:
Who would it hurt?
Rob:
Me. You hurt me. I know too much about you now.
Kyle:
[loudly to interrupt their whispering] Guys!
David:
Huh?
Kyle:
How was that?
Rob:
I'm sorry, let's run through it again real quick because Jabberjaw over here was flapping his gums.
David:
My gums do not flap.
Rob:
Sorry. Let's take it again. [to Squibs] How did it look?
Squibs:
Good. It looked good.
Rob:
Excellent.

[Beth and Kyle take their marks again as Sam resets the camera to its initial position. They wait for a cue.]

Rob:
[to David] You got anything else for me?

[David doesn't respond. Rob turns back to Beth.]

Rob:
Whenever you're ready, sweetheart.

[The scene rehearsal starts again. Just as it's getting underway Rob and David hear something behind them from the crowd of waitstaff. They turn around and see Sara, dressed in a tank top, a hoodie and jeans, talking to some of the people, friends of hers through Rob. Rob gets up, taps David to pay attention to the scene, then walks over to his girlfriend.]

Rob:
[whispering] Hey, you. Decided to swing by and watch?
Sara:
Actually, you forgot your keys. I would not have been pleased to have to let in in the middle of the night.
Rob:
You would probably have just left me out there.
Sara:
Nah. I'd think about it for a few seconds. But then I'd eventually get up.

[They smile then kiss. Ryan, holding the boom, frees up one hand to slap Sam in the shoulder. Sam looks up from the lens.]

Sam:
[whispering] Gah. What?
Ryan:
Check that out.
Sam:
What? [looks back at Rob and Sara] Oh, who is that?
Ryan:
I think that's Rob's girlfriend.
Sam:
What? How did Rob pull ass like that?
David:
Hey, that's my sister.
Ryan:
Rob is doing it with your sister?
David:
Ugh, do you have to put it like that?
Sam:
Are they together together? Or is she dating other people?
David:
Are you trying to hook up with my sister?
Squibs:
[slapping Sam on the arm] Hey, pay attention.

[They go back to their jobs in silence for a few beats.]

Sam
But growing up you've had to walk in on her in the shower or something at least once. How does she look naked?
David:
What is wrong with you?
Kyle:
Ahem.

[David turns back to Kyle and Beth who are waiting, arms crossed. Rob goes back to sit in his seat.]

Rob:
Sorry about that guys. So, how was it, David?
David:
Um, I, uh -- [leans over to Rob] So heels would be way over the top, right?
Rob:
One more time, guys, sorry.

[With a sigh, Beth and Kyle take their marks again and Sam resets the camera. Rob nods and the scene begins again. Outside of Kyle and Beth there is silence for a few moments.]

Sam:
So what's the story with you and that girl over there? Are you guys serious?
Rob:
[in a normal tone] Excuse me?
Kyle:
Hey, are you guys going to pay attention or am I doing this because I hate sleep? Because I don't. I would rather be sleeping at 2am.
Squibs:
[walks from behind the camera toward the actors] Okay, Beth, you cheat that way a little bit. Make sure of where you are in regards to the camera. Kyle, when you're talking to her try not to sound too smooth. You're being smooth but you have no idea that you are. Beth: you're doing great. Keep it up, okay? We're shooting for real this time. Quiet, everyone.

[She nods and he walks back toward the camera, looking at Rob and David.]

Squibs:
You two: get your lives together.
David:
[after a couple stunned beats] Okay. Places. Here we go.

[continued]